In my life, I've probably spent a total of five days around a baby that age. Honestly, they scare me. They can't talk, so you don't know what they're feeling or thinking. They're fragile, yet amazingly resilient. And, they squirm a lot. Maybe it's not so much that they scare me; but rather that I'm uncomfortable around them. But, I'm noticing that I'm not as uncomfortable around them as I once was.
My biological clock is definitely NOT ticking. I think this openness is occurring as I read more and more about spirituality. I've learned that babies are the most pure beings there are. They come into the world knowing that all is well. They expect that everything they need will be brought to them. They don't worry. They don't judge. If something feels good, they enjoy it. If something feels bad, they cry until it's made better.
I tried not to stare while observing the mom and her baby. I thought it was absolutely awesome that the mom was bringing her baby to this event. Because how cool is that?! The mom was fantastic in how she constantly moved the baby, changing her to different positions to help her be more comfortable, just going with the flow as the baby squirmed and wriggled, and grabbed at her shirt, hair, necklace, earrings, pacifier. The mom continually was rubbing the baby's back or her paradoxically, chubby yet long legs to keep her soothed.
When the mom and baby went into the pyramid as the first go 'round, the baby almost instantly started crying. The mom bounced her around a little on her legs and made it through the five minute round of meditation with the glass bowls, and flute music. Which, the baby really seemed to enjoy.
Then, they moved to the chairs with the magnets and vajras, and the baby started to get antsy and cried out several times before the mom got up and left the event.
Usually, I'm one to be annoyed by babies crying and screeching. And, while I couldn't meditate because of the distraction, I found myself calling my mind to go into a state of inquiry and wonder instead of annoyance and irritation.
Was the baby more sensitive to the energies in the pyramid and chair? How did the energy affect the baby? Was she just tired? These were the questions going through my mind. And, since they didn't stay, we couldn't find out the answers from the mom to see what her perception was.
But, what I do know is that the whole event helped illuminate (illumination was the theme of this pyramid session) for me that it's OK to let our baby selves out sometimes. It's OK to know that we are taken care of. Just as it's OK to cry and fuss and fidget if we're not feeling that all is well. It's OK to "feel all the feels."
I mean, really, when was the last time that you just had a good cry because you were tired, or hungry, or because your clothes were bothering you?
When was the last time that you reached out to someone automatically for a hug, or asked for something because you wanted/needed it, and didn't fear rejection?
A couple of weeks ago, I tuned into and have been asking myself to tap into a 4 year old self - asking questions, being curious. And, now, I'm broadening that, to venture into see what it's like to tune into an infant-self. I'm going to start allowing myself to ask for and expect that everything I need will be provided by the Universe. And, to get more comfortable with knowing....like really knowing, that it's ok to ask and it's ok to receive. And, it's ok to feel.
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