Venturing Out - Jen To The Light

Since I was young, like 3-4 years old,  I have been in love with writing. I mean completely enamored with all things printed. I was the first kid in my kindergarten class to be able to read. And, for a painfully shy kid, books were my go-to. In contrast to my much more sociable sister, I preferred to be curled away somewhere lost in whatever I was reading.

Throughout growing up, I toyed with the idea of being a writer. And, in high school, really thought that's what I'd ultimately end up doing, until I was repeatedly asked the question, "what kind of career can you make out of being a writer?" 

Being the people pleaser that I am (working on transitioning to making that a was..or at least less so) :), I thought, "yeah, I guess they're right." I felt that I was nowhere as cool as JD Salinger in coming up with one of my favorite characters, Holden Caufield. I didn't want to hermit myself away like Thoreau (and Salinger). I knew I wasn't going to go off to war like Hemingway. In short, I felt like I didn't have anything truly remarkable or unique to say. I envisioned being a writer solely as writing great American novels. I didn't think about writing in a broad sense. 

But, writing is the basis of so much of communication. It's how we get our thoughts across to those we can't connect with via phone/Google Hangout. It's how I try and sort my thoughts (or used to a lot, and then dropped it). It's how business is done. Writing is expression. It's finding a common point of understanding. It's making your mark, opening your heart, and sharing your experience. Whatever it may be. 

Writing takes dedication. Like working out, or meditating, or any effort. I'm good at dedication in other areas of my life. Working out, most definitely! If I were to compare my writing regimen to working out, I'd be a word couch potato.  I've gone in fits and starts. A friend of mine and I talked forever about creating a writers' workshop. And, that always fell through. I read beautiful books and blog posts by others; and am inspired; and think "I can do that!" And, then I don't. 

In the last four months, I've been fairly good about journaling. More so with my gratitude journal, and a bit with journaling journaling. But, nothing to really hang my hat on in terms of saying, "Yep. I'm consistently writing tangibly." 

And something changed. Over the course of the winter holiday, I felt this immense drive to write. To document. To try and express what I was seeing, hearing, feeling, experiencing. And, then, I didn't do it. I didn't take the time. Over the past couple of days, that drive has been growing stronger. I'm planning on making this foray into writing not one of a flash in the pan New Year's Resolution; but part of my lifestyle.

As I mentioned, I know writing takes discipline. And, I realize it also takes a sense of vulnerability. In that I am expressing my thoughts, opinions, feelings, and perspective. I'm not usually one to come forth with my opinions on things first. I'm one who typically soaks up information, actively and intently listens, and then share what I'm thinking. I'm usually one who has to be asked to share before I do. 

But, I realize that in doing so, I'm holding back. So, that's what the purpose of this blog is about: venturing Jen To The Light - bringing my thoughts into the light, onto the screen, out of my head and into existence. It'll be a random blog, in the sense that I don't have a set agenda or topic to write about; other than sharing what's on my mind or feel that I would like to write about. 

So, here we go!